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Author Topic: Some quickies  (Read 4137 times)
colinspain
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Location: Spain
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« on: December 15, 2016, 09:28:32 AM »

       A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to  Britain  so that they can see their own doctor.

                            ---------------------------------------
                            Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of  humus and taramasalata.
                            It's a double dip recession.
                            ----------------------------------------
                            63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.  It was not a terrorist  attack,  a bunk bed collapsed.
                            The police are blaming AL IKEA.
                            ----------------------------------------
                            Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
                            Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
                            ----------------------------------------
                            Police stop a suspicious-looking transit van on the main road out of  Dover.  Policeman says  "Do you know the limit is 70?"
                            The driver leans into the back and says: "Hear that? ... 6 of you  have got to get out!"
                            ----------------------------------------
                            Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them. "******  that", said Paddy, "That's the last time I go lion dancing".
                            ----------------------------------------
                            Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's  hope it's not the 13th then".
                            ----------------------------------------
                            My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover  the house.  Turns out she was a Slovak.
                            ----------------------------------------
                            I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.  To be  honest  I only intended to rough him up a bit.
                            ----------------------------------------
                            Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white,  they gave me a 30-minute lecture on the benefits of brown bread. I think  they were those Hovis Witnesses.
                            ----------------------------------------
                            Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they  tested positive for WD40.
                            ----------------------------------------
                            A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
                            Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.
                            ----------------------------------------
                            Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's  Riots...... Your One Year manufacturer's Warranty runs out soon.
                            ----------------------------------------
                            Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
                            Both in hospital......
                            One's in a korma.......
                            The other's got a dodgy tikka!
                            ----------------------------------------
                            An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan.  He is making  Land  Mines that look like prayer mats! It's doing well! Prophets are going  through the roof!
                            ----------------------------------------
                            A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
                            Granny replies,  ****** the pills, have you seen the dragons in the  kitchen?
 :tiphat:
                            覧覧覧覧覧覧覧覧覧覧覧覧

                             

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Definition of politics."Poli" Greek for many. "tics" blood sucking insects.
Arboleas Community Forum
« on: December 15, 2016, 09:28:32 AM »

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